my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
