that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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