Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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