I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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