I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
