im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
