doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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