Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
