Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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