I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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