hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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