her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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