I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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