just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
