WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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