Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
