have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
