The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You took a bar mat shot.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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