i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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