were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
