We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
last night I used snow as a chaser
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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