its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
