I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
