she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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