Me. At least after what I've been through.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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