Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
