gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
