I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
