Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
