whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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