I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
