Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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