My friends, they love my intelligence
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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