Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize