after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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