pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
