Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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