Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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