Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
