Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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