So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I smell like Dick and happiness
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
