Dual....:-)
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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