Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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