Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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