When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
