You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
