This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
