i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize