There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
