is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
