so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
His hands were made for my vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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