check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
