Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
