Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
