this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
