Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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