he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
