he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
