i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
