Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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