Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
