I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
