is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
