I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
