He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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