i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
